It really truly feel like it is because I am so frustrated with Troy being gone. I have been pretty optimistic through this whole thing and I think I am coming to the point that I am just done. I would venture to say that those I talk with or see on a regular basis would say I have don't complain much about Troy being gone and I am try to stay positive. Well, thats all out the window. So if you ask me how I am doing, I might just give you the truth!
I feel like everywhere I turn I get mad or frustrated at people. I normally love being around friends and meeting new people. Now I just want to be alone. I love looking forward to things or events and now all I say in my head "well its not Troy coming home."
I know... I know... Its almost like I am stuck in the mud and I have no desire to get out. I guess in a sense I am depressed. I honestly thought this would happen actually a lot sooner then it did. So here is the big question... How do I get out? People say oh you have gone so long it's just a big longer. But it is forever. I mean the last 2 months since he has left have been so long and so slow. I dont know if I can do it another 4 months.
I do know something that will help me a lot. I just have to jump back on the band wagon.
Anyway SO WARNING! If I am edgy when you talk to me, or I seem like I am in a bad mood, please dont take it personally... Hopefully I dont offend too many people before I get outta this funk!
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