Move forward slowly....

Thank you so much for your comments, emails, texts, and phone calls. I am doing fine, I just get frustrated over stupid people. Thank you to those who have told me to forget them and move forward. You are right. I am still going to share a brief overview of Troys homecoming, it really was so dear to my heart that its hard for me to share that part with anybody. Have you ever had the experience? Even with the birth of my 2 children and other things in my life I have been open.

But wanna hear a funny story? So Troy really wanted me to come to the airport to pick him up by myself so we could surprise the boys. So that is what I did. As I waited for him to come down the escalator, I thought I spotted him coming down... I took about 8 pictures of his feet and the start of legs and body and as it came to his head I realized it wasn't him. We all had a good laugh. Even the guy I was snapping paparazzi pictures of was laughing. We were laughing so hard that I didn't get any pictures of TROY coming down!

Oh and in the process of laughing my head off I was deleting those paparazzi photos because my camera was being stupid and would only let me take 10 pictures at a time so I was trying to delete those pictures so I had room for my Troy... OH WELL, so this is the sole picture that survived and NONE of Troy coming down.

Can you spot the guy?

Bliss

So its official I am out of my cave. The past 2 weeks have truly been the most tender 2 weeks of my life. So tender and special that I have thought of not sharing anything on this public blog about it! I've even had thoughts of shutting down this whole thing, why do I share such personal things about my family?

Anyway, before I make a drastic decision I promised to let it settle a bit.

A lot of things have been going through my mind but one of the biggest things that is making me NOT want to blog anymore is how judgmental people are! It's amazing how word can get around of how people judge how you parent. How can you judge me when you don't even live near me? How can you not like me, or my kids, or my husband but still read my blog?

If I decide to continue to blog I will probably just post a few pictures from Troys time home. We have some pretty EXCITING news coming in the near future and I would like to share it with people who TRULY care about me not who just pretend to like me then TALK behind my back. I've thought about making the blog private but it just complicates things for Troys grandma and others.

Anyway, Sorry to be such a debbie downer! Here is a pretty sweet picture from our family photo shoot.

WE may be MIA

So not knowing when exactly Troy might be home I wanted to warn you that it may be a few weeks before I post again. BUT its gonna BE EPIC!!!!!!!

It's a waiting game

Well we are on the waiting list for Troy to come home. I have received the official "this is my last phone call in Iraq" BUT that doesn't mean he has left Iraq. So I am REALLY hoping he gets here Sunday afternoon but I am guessing he will be here Monday.

Anyway so we have tried to stay busy. Here are some pictures... We went swimming one day on base (no pics), we played at the park A LOT (no pics) anyway... NOW onto to the photos

Have you ever heard of a ZUZU pet? These things are awesome and are only $5! We play with them A LOT. And I will admit even momma likes them.

This one is Chandlers



This one is Hinks
Hi MOM!
We bought something fun at wal-mart....
Woops how did this end up here? Playing wii
RANDOM! This is my my mail from 1 day. The 2 letters on the left are the ONLY important ones. The rest are all credit card offers and JUNK mail... Good times
This is what we bought at wal-mart....
See we made juice pops and I have a feeling we will be doing this a lot this summer
Making our WELCOME HOME POSTER
This is what Chandler wanted to do while we did our poster. Do you love the cocked head and the lollipop in his hand?! Oh and he has one sock on and one sock off
Our final product
Playing in the dirt with construction toys

One more thing

So I wanted to add to my last post. One thing I have learned is I allow myself to grieve. I seen a few heartaches in my life but one of the HARDEST things I have had to do in my WHOLE life is this deployment. I am learning to let myself have 5 or 10 minutes a day to cry. Actually when he first left I cried about once a day. Now its about once every 2-3 weeks. It is hard to explain because its a different cry. Its a release cry. I love it! I really have learned that I need to do it.

Dear Deployment....

So I thought I should mention something on my lovely blog so you dont think I am ALL negative about deployment...

The deployment has given us wonderful blessings. Really it has. Probably first and foremost it has made me love my husband more, my children more (didn't know that was possible), and my life. It has made me so much more of an appreciative person. It has also opened my eyes to what others go through. It has also made me intolerant for unpatriotic people. Woops... okay staying positive sorry... Had to throw that one in.

2nd we are one payment away from being DEBT FREE. Yes you read that right. Now I know to some of you who are NOT in debt this may not be a big deal. But to us it is HUGE. We had some hefty dues and they are almost all done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sweet relief I tell you. I think I am sleeping better at night just because of it.

I tell my kids about 10 times a day that I love them. Literally I keep a talley in my head. And that their daddy loves them.

I cherish my one on one times with my kids. I use to do one on ones just to check it off my list but now I truly treasure these times. I know my kids are going to grow up so fast and before I know it they will be off to college.

When Troy left on deployment I knew we had a solid relationship but now I am more grateful for that SOLID relationship. Troy tells me of heartbreaking things that soliders and spouses are dealing with in his unit. So many are struggling right now and talking of divorce and being unfaithful. So sad.

I really thought I knew everything about Troy before he left. 98% of the time we were on the same page with things and even thinking the same thing with out any words. I felt connected to him. I knew his reaction to certain things before they even happened. But when you spend 8 months away from each other and you rely on limited communication you learn A LOT more about your spouse. I really truly believe we have connected on a whole DIFFERENT level one that can only be achieved by being separated for an extended period of time with limited communications.

I have learned to reach out and make friends. When Troy is with me I just want to spend time with him and yes I had girlfriends but it was different. Now I am realizing I need girlfriends too.

I am learning to listen to my own voice. Ugh you wouldn't believe the rumors that go around about what is going on over there and stuff. I am learning to discern the truth from lies and block out stupid people.

I am learning that happiness really begins with ME!

Day of tee-ball

Wow I am glad today is over. We had tee-ball pictures at 11AM and thanks to our not so wonderful coach it took us an HOUR to get them done. I ran home grabbed some lunch and headed back to the fields for our 12:30 game. There was an accident right at the ball field entrance and they COMPLETELY shut down the road. So me and about a dozen other cars went off roading to get there. It was comical really the off roading NOT the accident.

Putting on his new uniform! SO cute!

He rolled down the window and was yelling, "1,2,3.... GO CUBS!"

Then it was time for our game. I have to tell you that watching tee-ball has got to be the BEST medicine in the world. These kids looked just adorable in their outfits! Some of the kids chased butterflies and lady bugs. Some were so shocked that they hit the ball they just stood there. Some ran to 3rd base instead of 1st it was just fantastic. I was so surprised at how well my little Hinckley did.

This is Hinks playing catcher, he was at 1st and 2nd base too

Thats my cute boy with his hands on his head

Look at that smile. This picture reminds me of my Troy boy

I LOVE that his hat pushes down on his ears....
His first time up to bat
Swing and a little hit
Running to the first base
After the game... WOOPS outta order sorry

This was after his 2nd time to bat on 3rd base

Yep that is my cute kid with his hat on backwards
1,2,3.... GO CUBS!

NOTE My wonderful camera decided to not recognize the memory card so I could only take like 15 pictures. And I forgot the video camera and so I had to take video on my phone. Oh wait thats right I can't get my computer to recognize my phone. CRAP. Oh and the zoom on my camera decided to poop out on me too. URGH! We may go camera shopping when my Troy boy comes home.

After the game they had opening ceremonies. Man that was a bit of a nightmare. Next year we will skip out on that. But Hinks did get a free hot dog and soda.

They had the high school ROTC program post the colors and they did a GREAT job. And yes I bawled. We said the Pledge of Allegiance. One thing I do not like about New Mexico is they make the kids say the Pledge of Allegiance in English AND Spanish... I just dont understand why.

Hanging out with friends

Today we ventured to the aquarium and botanical gardens. This time we took our friends the Petersons. We had a lot of fun.

He Loves FISH!

Our friend and my boys!
The sting ray tank was open!
Hinks finally touched one. It was slimy.
Chandler LOVES the shark tank
See the puffer fish
2 buddies. I love this picture!
Chandler coming down the slide
Yahoo!
The botanical gardens were SO AMAZING! We didn't have enough time to do everything but man we will be back.
This lady bug crawled up Hinks shirt. Its was pretty funny
See the lady bug
Thanks Em for taking our picture