Post baby & accident

The next few days in fact in weeks after Eve was born and Troys motorocycle accident is a bit of a blur. We had tons of doctor appointments and adjustments to make. We really would not have made it without my wonderful in-laws and my parents.  Kathy was my chauffeur and Don was Troys.

Tuesday the day after Troys accident I had an appointment with my regular OB-GYN. As we were driving there I wanted to crawl in a hole. How on earth was a man going to relate to and feel sympathy for me? Will he think I am crazy and not help me? I convinced myself going into the appointment that he was going to say sorry I think you are nuts. To my surprise I was greeted with hugs and great advice and love. We talked about options and we went with all of the above. Medicine and Counseling. One thing that made me feel so human (in a good way) was when Dr. Elmore said, " Bethany you had every risk factor of having post postpartum blues, it was an unplanned pregnancy, you had your baby early, you had an unplanned c-section, you had a double surgery, you are stuffed with all kinds of medicine, your husband is insanely busy and was in an accident. We almost lost all 3 of you in a matter of days." He gave me the name and number of a counselor who works strictly with postpartum mommas. And told me to come back in a week.

We left the appointment and I called and made an appointment for the next day Wednesday. I was a bit anxious about going to see a counselor and taking medicine. I believe 100% that depression exists and even though I was definitely struggling with it I thought in my little brain I could fix it myself. My first appointment with the counselor went fairly well. I didn't feel a strong connection with her like I was hoping for and she seemed a bit disconnected. I had to tell her things like 3 or 4 times and the next week when I went to see her she had forgotten some of the things I told her. And yes she was writing everything I was saying down so I am not sure how she didn't remember things. But it was nice to air out my laundry sort to speak. We set up another appointment a week later.

Troy had all sorts of medical appointments as well. He met with his adviser at school and talked with work. On the day of the accident I called his boss to let him know what happened and his school adviser who is also the department chair. We received so many miracles and blessings the weeks following our crazy November. Troy had just been hired on at Adelino Head Start in August and was still on probation so he had no sick/medical leave or personal leave. His co-workers donated enough sick leave for him to have 4 months to recover. That alone was one of the greatest blessings because we continued to have a pay check even though he couldn't work. We received a phone call from his adviser a few days after his accident and was told that all his work he had submitted so far in the semester would count for his grade and he didn't have to finish the semester. This blew us ALL away. I am still in shock about both of these tender mercies. Troy continued to read the chapters in his textbooks to stay up to date with the classes and even went to a few classes and was chastised by the professor for being there.

I took the happy pills for about 2 weeks and stopped. I know they say it takes 2 weeks for the medicine to take in effect but I just had this feeling that I was going to be okay with out them. I only went to the counselor for 2 sessions as well. Something deep inside was telling me I would be okay. We were driving one day and it hit me so hard of why I struggled so much after having Eve. One word: PERCOCET. I was on it for pain medication after the surgery and trust me I needed it but I realize now how much it twisted my emotions. Not that it was the single factor of why I felt so blue but it did have a huge part in it.

These pictures below are of the intersection where Troy crashed

 You will see the school on the right

 Troy says he remembers trying to go to the "trees and fence" so if he was going to die he could lay down and see something pretty.

I had to drive by the intersection the same day of the accident and I had chills run down my back. In fact every time I drive by it I still do.  

I believe my life was spared for a reason and so was Troys. We have a special work to do with our precious 4 children. Our lives have changed so much for good in the last few months. Colors are so much more vibrant, sounds are clearer, smells are more potent. We have a second chance at life. We eat better, we treat others better, we treat each other better, we love more and criticize less. No matter how late one or both of us are running we always kiss and hug goodbye. Even if we are just running to walmart. I hold, play, laugh, cry and invest more in my children. I feel incredibly blessed that we had this life changing event in our family. Indeed it is a wonderful life.