Head Spinning

So I have so many things on my mind tonight. I have sat down to write on my blog 3 times this week but the second I sit down to type my brain goes dead.

I posted something almost a week ago about letting go of friendships. I should let you know that I was not talking about anybody who would read this blog. I have deleted it because I had many emails/phone calls making sure I wasn't talking about them. I did not intend to hurt feelings or offend anybody. I am so sorry if any of you took this personally.

My head is still spinning with my calling in Young Womens. I have AMAZING GIRLS. LIKE A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. I am so impressed with them. They have lifted me up without even knowing it.

Recently, I've had the opportunity to reconnect with a few friends that are going through some really hard times. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT PEOPLE ARE GOING THROUGH! If you have a feeling to email/call/text or visit a friend DO IT! Five, yes five of my dear friends are going through horrible, hard times. Each one have been on my mind. I have prayed for them and will continue to do so. All I have to say is I love you. If you are reading this and you are going through a difficult time right now be it a divorce, a miscarriage, a broken engagement, a loss of a loved one, an unfaithful spouse, a car accident, an abusive relationship, or whatever it may be, I AM HERE FOR YOU NIGHT AND DAY.

I know you are probably tired of me saying I miss my husband but I do. Really if you lived with me or near me you would never guess that I am struggling with him gone. I guess I just pick my blog readers to vent to, SORRY! I have come to a great conclusion though about my beautiful family. I am so blessed to have a wonderful supportive husband and 2 beautiful children.

When Hinckley was little like I am talking when he was a baby people seemed to be drawn to him. We would have complete strangers come up to him and want to hold him (even in Idaho where there is baby city). Because of a special blessing Troy and I received I knew Hinckley was going to be a special person. I knew he was destined for greatness. I would have come to that conclusion as his mother but hearing it from somebody else it changes things a bit. I only know of one person that we have come in contact with who thinks Hinckley is less than special, but I really dont care what she thinks someday she will come to her senses. Since we have moved to New Mexico we've had some really neat experiences here regarding my little missionary Hinckley. Someday I will share them with you. He really is something special and people know and love him and that makes this mommy happy.

Chandler has a very unique draw to him. Instead of his knowledge and love it's his red hair that attracts people to him. Just like my Hinckley they meet him once and they dont forget him. So many people know him by his hair. I can't explain it but it means so much as a mom for people around me to love my children. To accept them and love them and find joy being around them. I love that people are impressed with them and have no problem telling me I have great kids. Because I know I have great kids but some days are hard. Being a single parent is HARD. Living without your husband is HARD. But when you get to snuggle in bed with them and read your favorite childhood book over and over again.... its priceless. Even if your one year old toots in your face and your four year old tells me I skipped a page or too just to get the reading done faster!

OH HOW I LOVE MY BOYS.

Next post... Valentine's day!

What we have been up to

Hinckley was so excited to give his friends Valentines this year. It all started for his preschool party. He had so much fun writing his name and his friends name on them. We did it for his church class, my young womens and now tomorrow his karate friends.

This is what Chandler did while we did our V-day cards.

Hinks showing you his card writing skills
Oh course we had toy story cards!

When we got back from Vegas it was in the negatives for temperature! So when it warmed up we were so excited to play outside.

Hinks doing the robot

The little bit of snow we have leftover. He loved having a snowball fight!
Hinks trying to jump the snow pile
SO HAPPY TO BE OUTSIDE!
FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Riding the scooter

The many faces of my son
My favorite. This picture right here reminds me SO MUCH of his daddy.
say what?!

Do you like my new shoes?!

See fancy Hawaiian shoes
This boy loves shoes more than I DO!

We had a fun dance party with daddy.

This picture is my favorite of Hinckley. His smile warms my heart.

This is my favorite of Chandler. Can you see the fear on his face?!
Don't stop believing!
march, march, march!

Do you remember me telling you about that special Christmas party we went to on base? Well, they have an activity a month for us lonely deployed families and we missed the one in January but we sure had fun at the Valentines Day party!

Hinks making a special valentine for his daddy
Playing duck duck goose! I love this picture of Hinckley
More duck, duck, goose
Our special valentines for daddy! They took a picture of my boys and they were matching it was so cute!

One smart cookie

I don't know how to flip this picture! But he totally fell asleep in this bean bag... What a cutie!

This morning my 15 month old decided it was time to get up at 5AM. Hinckley and I have this tradition since Troy left that we have a special sleepover on Sunday night. We usually stay up late and watch a movie together and cuddle. I do look forward to these special nights with my special little guy! When Chandler wakes up in the night I usually bring him in my bed for a bit and then send him back to his bed but since I didn't want Chandler to wake Hinckley up this morning I decided to cuddle with Chandler in Hinckleys room.

So we finally settled down and got back to sleep and before I know it Chandler is up bright eyed and bushy tailed at 7:45AM pointing at our flat daddy on the wall saying, "DA DA DA" All of a sudden the 5AM wake up call didn't see so rough knowing that my little baby recognizes his daddy!

Chandler has grown SO MUCH since Troy left. He is talking and learning things so fast. He loves to say, "OT, OT" (hot)... "BRRRR" (cold), "ore" (more), "tank ewe" (thank you) "ma ma" (mom), memaw (grandma), "BOMPA" (grandpa), "other" (brother) and now DA! Oh and hello, buh byeeeeeeee, acker (cracker), bah bah (bottle). He just started saying please too! He tells me when he is all done by raising his arms up while sitting in his high chair.

About 6 weeks ago we used maracas for family home evening to play while we sang a song. Well, the very next week and every week after when we sit down for family home evening he goes in the cupboard to get the maracas to play.

Sundays=hardest day of the week

I think I have shared before that I really struggle on Sundays. I always thought it was because when I go to church I see all these couples and families together and I wished for my husband to be sitting next to me rubbing my back or cuddling in the creak of his neck while we listen to some lady telling us a sob story at testimony meeting. I realized soon that yes that was part of my struggle on Sunday but more it was I needed my right hand man to take turns walking the halls with the cranky one year old. Soon after that I realized that my kids usually go BONKERS on Sunday afternoon... It's because they have to sit for nearly 3 hours and be quiet so when they get home all heck breaks loose. But it took me almost 6 months to really realize the REAL reason I struggle on Sundays....

In our 5.5 years of marriage Troy has always been in school and working. Sundays were our only family day I knew we had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO except go to church and be a family. Yes occasionally we would go to friends houses or have people over but it was our special family time. I knew my husband would be home that day (unless he had drill and even at that he would be home on Sunday nights). With those long days of school and work I longed for our Sunday afternoon naps and dance parties. I longed for that reconnection with my best friend. And now I am lucky to have a conversation with him longer than 15 minutes. Actually Sundays are usually the best time to talk with him like today we got to talk for almost 2 hours!

So question for you... What days of the week are hardest for you? and why? Am I the only one who dreads a certain day of the week?

extra cant let go

Here are a few extra pictures I didn't upload from our trip. I forgot to mention the girls went for massages and they were wonderful!!!!!!

He has the whole world in his hands...

Family pic minus Kathy
Momma and her favorite Hinckley in the whole world!
Hinks self portrait
He asked me to pose. LOL!
I guess he liked his dusty shoes?
Hinks with his photography skills
Another self portrait
Aunt Kris being silly
We celebrated Don's birthday again!

We played kinnect at Uncle Travis' house and we had a blast!

cant let go part 5

We did so many fun things while we were there and most of which I have no photos from because I forgot my camera. UGH. I think Grandma took more pictures so maybe I can ask her to send me them... Travis too! Like going to this HUGE park near my in laws house. IT WAS SO amazing... And hiking this beautiful mountain to overlook sin city and the various mountains surrounding us. My goal is to one day run up that mountain its pretty steep. Someday I will do it.

We went swimming at a local community center and ate at Elephant Bar. YUMMY!

I got new running shoes, yahoo! Oh wait I can't run.... It's pretty cool when you go to a legit running store because they video tape you running on a treadmill and then fit you with a shoe that will help you run better. They are black and purple and I am in love... If only I could use those suckers!

We did some other shopping like buying a new pair of shoes for Chandler and few other fun places like the Disney outlet. Here is the link of the shoes I bought for the babe. I found this brand a few months ago and I am literally in love. Yes they are expensive but your kids only get 2 feet their whole life. PS totally wish I had bought them on this site would have saved me like $14. OH WELL.

http://www.seekairun.com/cgi-bin/commerce.cgi?preadd=action&key=LANDON-BLACK

WE got to see Diamond Rio in concert. That was an interesting story of having tickets for the wrong night... But it all worked out and Kristin and I got to be in the "high roller" booth at the concert yes it was at a casino. If they are ever in concert near you THEY PUT ON AN AWESOME SHOW!

We went bowling and I think I got smoked by my 4 year old son!

We went to the movies and saw Yogi Bear... SO cute. Hinks favorite part was the arcade outside the movie in the casino. Gotta love Vegas. When we got home this is how we found the babysitter and baby.

I had the chance of going to the temple with Kristin one night while Grandma and Grandpa babysat. IT WAS SO WONDERFUL! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Las Vegas temple. I always have the sweetest experiences there. Here is a picture of us outside. We were one of the last cars to leave for the night. We spent a lot of time in there talking. It so interesting to come out and just down in the valley you can see all the lights from the strip. Such a difference in spirits looking at the temple and then looking at sin city.

I went to Yucca Valley, California (where Troy went to high school) with Kristin. Can I just say that I LOVE YUCCA VALLEY. The people there LOVE my Troy and the love me. Anyway, she was part of a womens conference there. We had a blast. It was for single girls 18-30. Yes I was the odd lady out but it was super fun to be around all these spunky gals. We got the girls ALL dolled up I think that was my favorite part.

Plus they had a nice dinner with the boys (same age) and dance after. And YES I DANCED MY HEART OUT! I will admit it was a bit awkward sitting next to all these single GUYS. They were asking me all these questions like what I like to do, if I was going to school... I finally just blurted out I AM MARRIED. I guess they didn't notice the mega diamond on my ring finger. Anyway, I still had a great time and after there was no pressure for the guys to get to know me as a potential date they REALLY liked me. LOL. They were asking all these questions about the girls and stuff. Oh it was fun. I think we danced for 3 hours! It was FANTASTIC.

This is the sign for 29 Palms. Its the town that has the marine base. We thought it was a funny sign so we took a picture.

This is Kristin in her class she did. SHE DID GREAT!

All the girls dressed up. See those curls on those girls? GUESS who did them?! I think I wanna a girl... Like the baby hunger is setting in. HA! But I am totally okay that my husband is like 10,000 miles away therefore no baby for a while! Okay like not okay that he is gone but okay that there will be no baby making for a while. WAIT... WAIT... I mean I miss the baby making but not the baby making.

Ah... Forget it. Sorry if that was TMI. I mean what do you expect, we haven't seen each other in 4 months!

Okay seriously... I know this may look like a very random picture to you. Yes, YES it is. But do you see that guy on the right in the cream/tan suit. Interesting fellow he is... No he was not invited but decided to invite himself. AND the kid on the left in the black suit. He is pretty important to the crazy events of the night as well. Sorry no more details I do not want to hurt somebody with my words BUT we did have a blast and some entertaining from these 2 boys. I had to document in without them knowing I was taking a picture. Maybe in a future post I can explain.