The motorcycle accident part I

I do not remember most of the conversation I had with Cara. I think my mind completely turned off. I remember turning to my mother in law and saying, "Troys been in an accident." I remember asking if Troy was okay and where he was. At some point Troy wanted to talk to me on the phone so she handed him the phone. He was not making any sense. He was asking things like, "Where am I?" "What am I doing here?" I asked him to hand the phone back to the nice lady who gave him the phone in the first place which thankfully he did. I remember asking Cara if she could stay with him until I could get to him and she said yes she would stay with him as long as I needed her to. I hung up the phone and started sobbing right there in the waiting room of the doctors office.

I knew we needed to move fast so we packed things up and headed to the elevator. I called my parents who had the other children at the aquarium. They were already on their way home because Cara had called her mom to get my moms phone number when she couldn't get a hold of me. The plan was to get everybody home and then my Dad would head up to the hospital and Kathy would too. Some time in my conversation with Cara I knew that Troy would be getting a blessing. She had already called Brother Allen Smith in our ward who called his son and they were in route to the hospital.

Troy called me again right as we were getting in the car to go home and he was being checked over by EMT's and he was more coherent. He also "reassured me that he was just fine" but was going to the hospital just in case. He called his brother and dad and told them he thought he had broken his collarbone and shoulder. He didn't want to worry me so he said he was just fine.

I will forever be grateful for our angel Cara. She had left early that day (earlier than she had planned) and came upon Troy right after the accident happened. Troy asked her to hold his hand. And the fact she didn't even hesitate brings me to tears. She held his hand and comforted him when I couldn't be there to do it. She has stayed in touch with us and checked up on us. She arranged for priesthood holders to administer to him and kept me posted the best she could. She stayed with him until the ambulance left with him in it. She was one of many angels that day who was put at the right place and time.

As we drove south to Los Lunas (about 40 mins we were on the northside of town) I just wanted to curl up in a ball and die. I truly didn't know how our lives would change. What if he was paralyzed? Did he hit another car? What if they sue us for everything we own? What if he has brain damage and can't work the rest of his life? There were many phone calls and voxes exchanged. Don my father in law literally packed a suitcase and started the long 9-10 hour drive to get here immediately after receiving the phone call. Prayers were sent out from all over.

I knew we would be passing the ambulance heading north as we were heading home. I kept waiting to see it. It went by in a flash. But for a minute time stopped. I dont remember if I yelled it out loud but I just screamed out to my Father in Heaven to spare his life. I thought I had prayed hard before in my life but nothing can explain or express the depth of that prayer. I wanted to fly like a bird and be at my husband side. I just wanted to leap out of the car and make everything okay. I kept saying, "Please God be with him. Be with him now. Be with me. Please spare his life. Please bring him home to me. Send angels to be with him and to hold his hand because I can't be there now." I connected with Troy that day in a way that I have never felt before in my life. I felt as if my soul left my body and sat next to his side for a brief moment to hold his hand, kiss his forehead and tell him I would be there is spirit and I told him I loved him. It was that moment of time when everything stopped. The chaos around me was quiet and I felt peace.

As we got closer to home I could feel the mud pit around me disappear. I will refer to it as the depression pit. My anxiety of 4 children, and cleaning my house, and cooking meals and getting the kids to school on time was still there but this ugly pit that was around me left. I had a new focus now.